I like graham crackers; you probably like graham crackers; many people like graham crackers… but I bet you don’t know the reason why graham crackers were invented. Trust me, the reason will shock you!
To be honest, I didn’t know their origin either, until I picked up a can of Graham Cracker Ale by Hearthstone Brewery (North Vancouver). And boy oh boy is this story worth repeating, word for word. So here it is, copied out from the can.
“In 1829, Presbyterian minister Sylvester Graham invented the graham cracker in an attempt at staving off an epidemic that was sweeping the nation – masturbation.
As a tribute to Reverend Graham, we decided to concoct a graham cracker brew with 50 kg of graham crackers in each batch, resulting in notes of honey, vanilla and all around graham cracker goodness.
So instead of knocking one out this evening, how about knocking one back with Hearthstone! Cheers!”
Now I can only speak for myself, but I highly doubt that graham crackers, delicious as they are, would often be distracting enough to prevent oneself from the occasional self pleasuring. It seems to me that the Reverend Graham made the perfect cracker to accompany one’s late night self indulgences, rather than prevent them. Come to think of it, they are especially tasty when used to make s’mores (graham crackers with chocolate and a roasted marshmallow slid in between to form a mass of ooey gooey yummy…. drool…s’morgasm…).
So anyways, when I first saw the Graham Cracker Ale by Hearthstone Brewery in the liquor store, I became quite excited. Sometimes these flavoured beers seem quite gimmicky, but in this case I thought that it might work. After all, graham crackers would add a certain spicy, biscuity, sweetness to the beer that would in all likelihood complement the gentle malt of a smooth ale. So I bought a 16oz can.
Graham Cracker Ale 8%
Appearance: nice frothy head, copper.
Nose: graham crackers, Belgian yeast, endive bitterness.
Palate: hint of graham crackers, apple cider.
Finish: wave of piney hops.
Overall: I feel like this beer misses the mark a bit; too much hop flavour for a beer that should be more malt based to give the drinker the impression of drinking a graham cracker.
Rating: 2/5 Okay
I will leave you with some wise words by Les Claypool of the band Primus, from their song Is It Luck?
Is it Luck?
If a graham cracker gets you off
Is it Luck
Sounds like Les Claypool was aware of the graham cracker’s origin. Or he’s just a freaky genius. Or both. Listen to the song!